“I Am Not Myself Anymore” — How to Rewrite Your Identity in Midlife

Midlife identity shift? You're not alone.
If you’ve ever said “I don’t feel like myself anymore,” or “I’m tired, stuck, or lost,” this episode is for you.

In today’s episode of The Menopause Method, we’re exploring the power of what you say after “I am.”
Because those two little words shape your menopause mindset, your habits, and how you show up for your health.
We’ll break down how your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies are impacted by your internal self-talk—and how to gently start rewriting your identity in midlife.

You’ll learn:

• Why “I am” statements are so powerful for women 40+
• How to spot unhelpful identity loops keeping you stuck
• What to say instead to feel stronger, clearer, and more like you

💡 Ever feel like something’s off, but can’t explain why workouts just don’t stick?Take this 2-minute quiz to find the hidden pattern—and a gentle step that actually fits your life:
👉 https://www.camoyler.com/QUIZ
💪 Download your 10-minute strength workout:
👉 https://www.camoyler.com/minis

Chapters:
00:00 "I Am" Identity Power
03:36 Aligning "I Am" Affirmations
07:01 Regaining Spiritual Alignment

✨ Say hi on Instagram: @heymomma_cam
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📩 Want support? Learn more about coaching with Cam at https://www.camoyler.com/

Transcript

0:00

The words you speak after I am shape your identity, and your identity shapes your reality. If you had met me back in my 40s, I would tell you I am a teacher. I taught school for 18 years. I am a wife. I was married for 20 years. I am a mom. I have two amazing kids. But in my 40s, everything shifted. I left the classroom and I was like, well, what. What do I. What am I doing now? I'm not a teacher anymore. I got separated and divorced in my 40s. So that completely shifted. I was no longer a wife. I was a divorced single woman in her 40s. And then my kids went to college. And if you've been through empty nests, you know what that feels like in midlife, when so much is shifting. The I am statements help you show up as the woman you are becoming, not the woman you felt like you've lost. So my old I am statements, and maybe your old I am statements from younger you, it's time to change those and upgrade them to reflect where you're going now. Welcome back to the Menopause Method. My name is Cam Allen, and I can't wait to talk about the I am changing your identity in midlife. It's okay to blow up your life. I kind of feel like menopause is this gateway to do that. And I am statements are so, so powerful. They are incredibly powerful because they speak directly to your identity and your identity drives your behavior. They matter so much because your brain loves consistency. When you say I am, your subconscious mind treats it as a blueprint. Your brain starts looking for ways to prove that it's true, even if your I am statements are not helpful. For example, if you say I am not a morning person, your brain's going to look for that snooze button versus the sunlight morning light, which actually helps you sleep better at night. I am statements bypass logic and go straight to the belief. When you say I am strong, that is very different from I want to be strong. The first one is something you are I am strong. Where the other one is something that you hope for. I am locks it in because it's part of your belief system. I am statements also shape your self image and guess what? Then your actions follow. If your identity is I am someone who chooses herself, you're more likely to book that workout or say no to that invitation that you know is going to drain you. Or maybe turn off the TV and go to bed on time versus saying I am tired. I am behind. Which leads to do you know scrolling and more snacks. I AM statements help you rewrite the old scripts. Believe me, midlife is full of these shifts. Physically, your body's changing. Emotionally, you're like having all these emotions bubble up. Many of them are unresolved and it's time for them to get resolved and mentally. See, these I am statements let you anchor into what you who you are becoming, not what you used to be or not what society expected you to be. Identity is the root of your behavior. And when the subconscious mind stays congruent with who you say you are, I am becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, good or bad. So today it's a chance to look at your I am statements and make sure they are leading you in the direction that you want to go. This is especially crucial in midlife, when roles and your routines and your body are all changing. Today we're going to take a look at how the I am statements show up in each of the four bodies. Your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual bodies. And some clues to know that your current I am statements, your current directions for your body aren't aligned in how to change that when your physical body is out of alignment, you may be saying, I'm tired, I am past my prime, I am old. All that negative stuff. See, your physical identity impacts your energy. Like why would you want to go work out if you think you're old? And your achy knees and hips and all the things, why would you want to go work out if that's what you believe and that is your operating system? You see, your I am statements regarding your physical body will help you be more consistent with your workouts, your energy and all the things. Now it may come out like when you're not aligned with your I am statement in your physical body, you may find yourself trying harder and going back to the old workouts that always worked. How do I know this? I did it myself. After menopause, I tried to go back to my CrossFit ways and I would end up exhausted on the couch for days. And then mentally I would say not nice things to myself. And emotionally I was like, you're a loser, you're lazy, all the things. So sometimes when I doubled down on my workout, it just made things worse. Then you might notice in your physical body you're not happy with what you see in the mirror or when you put on your clothes. So you might find yourself changing clothes to cover up body parts or when you're getting dressed to go somewhere you've tried on eight things before. You decide on something that you're like, okay, I can wear this. Those are all signs that your physical body is out of your alignment with your I am statement. If it's not here yet, say, I am learning to rebuild my strength or I am on my way to love my body again. It's okay to be in the process. I actually think menopause is the process. In the emotional body, those are your emotions. You may start noticing things like disappointment and like, why can't I figure my health out? Or you may feel shame towards yourself. Maybe. Maybe you feel like you've neglected yourself. When you start to notice those negative emotions about your body, it's a sign to say, I am allowed to feel these emotions. Do not gaslight yourself. Look in the mirror and say to yourself, I'm allowed to feel. Let those emotions bubble up. I find that a lot of. A lot of women in midlife have literally stuffed down those feelings all of this time. And menopause kind of rips them out and all the emotions come out. Let me tell you something. You are allowed to feel your emotions, and you are allowed to say, I am someone who gives herself grace in the mental body. This is the stuff that you say to yourself when you walk in front of a mirror. Like, what are you saying to yourself when you walk by? Or maybe you're getting dressed and you're like, I can't wear this. My belly's sticking out. Or, I don't want to show my arms. I can't wear this shirt. You may also find yourself saying, why can't I figure this out? And there's a lot of shame in that. The women in my world are smart and they know a lot of things. And also they're like, why can't I figure this out? When your spiritual body feels out of alignment, you may be asking yourself, like, what's the point now? Like, who am I? Is this it? Or you may feel, like, unsure of your purpose. That is a sign for you to get out in mother Nature, Put your feet on the earth, lift your face to the sun. Or maybe finding a quiet prayer ritual or a meditation, some quiet time to return to yourself. And whatever you do, turn that phone over, get in touch with yourself. And don't let social media, including me, tell you how you should feel during the spiritual shift in menopause. Things like, I am returning to myself, or I am grounded and I am guided. Those are some helpful I am statements to guide yourself back. So the first step of this is to notice, what are you saying about yourself? What is running in the background? What are you saying I am blah blah blah. What are you saying? Another clue that might help you is listen for part of me wants this and part of me wants that. Once I tell you that, you're going to hear part of me in all kinds of conversations with yourself and with other people. When people say that or when you say that or when I say that, it is literally both. Parts of you are right, and it's kind of like we're in conflict with ourself. So pause and ask what do I want to feel? Or what do I want to be known for? And if he comes up next, negative. This is the super helpful question what do I want instead? And let the answer bubble up because the Again, your unconscious mind has your blueprint for perfect health. And if you go with your first instinct, if you let it bubble up, your unconscious mind will reveal exactly what your next step is. Next, choose one small shift. Even if it's I'm learning to. That's really powerful. If it's not here yet and you don't believe I am strong, you could say I am learning to be strong. And if that feels right, then go for it. Play with the words until it resonates with your soul. So I'm really curious. What identities are you shedding? What identities are you stepping into? You don't have to become someone else. You're literally menopause is literally coming home to you. I invite you to journal or even talk to your phone and do a voice note and start practicing I am statements and feel. Which ones like bubble up and like make you excited. If you're looking for support to rewrite your story, the menopause minis will help you embody a new I am in just 10 minutes of strength training a day. And if you need help choosing yourself again, check out the quiz in the show notes. And then finally, if you're looking for one on one support, you can apply for coaching below. I work with a very small group of women at a time and it needs to be aligned for you and me. So we would do a clarity call to see if we match up. Send me a message on Instagram. I can't wait to hear how your I am statements are shifting. If you found this episode helpful at all, be sure to hit the Follow and subscribe button. And do me a favor, if this episode helped you in any way, subscribe, stop over on Instagram and say hi. And also hit that follow button. Thanks for being here this week. Be sure to tune in next week for some more practical menopause help. Thanks for being here.