Midlife Identity Crisis? 3 Simple Mindset Shifts to Feel Like You Again

Midlife can feel like someone rearranged your whole life and forgot to leave you the instructions.
Your body is changing. Your sleep feels off. The roles you’ve poured yourself into (mom, partner, caregiver, achiever) are shifting.
And somewhere along the way, you’re left wondering: Who even am I now?

This episode of The Menopause Method is a soft, steady invitation back to yourself.
We’re not talking hustle or toxic positivity. We’re talking about identity, self-trust, and how to create change in midlife that actually sticks.

🌿In this episode, you'll hear:
1. The power of “I am” statements
→ Why who you believe you are matters more than what you do

2. How to rebuild self-trust with micro-promises
→ What it means to keep your word to yourself (and why it’s not about discipline)

3. Training your brain to feel safe with change
→ Why your brain resists progress and how to help it feel safe enough to keep going

You’ll walk away with simple, doable ways to shift how you see yourself and reclaim the part of you that’s been waiting for care.

🎧 Listen if you're a midlife woman who’s ever said:
“I don’t even recognize myself anymore.”

“I can’t seem to stay consistent.”

“Something’s off, and I don’t know where to start.”

🎯 Resources mentioned:
→ Menopause Minis: Short, powerful strength workouts that help you rebuild energy, strength, and self-trust in just 10 minutes a day.
👉https://www.camoyler.com/meno-minis

→ Non-Scale Wins Checklist : Train your brain to see the progress that actually matters.
👉 https://www.camoyler.com/wins

💬 Let’s connect:
What’s one “I am” statement you’re ready to try on today?
Drop it in the comments, I’d love to witness you in this new season.

Chapters:
00:00 Rediscovering Identity Amid Change
04:39 Connect with Your Future Self
07:01 Emotional Eating and Self-Trust
10:23 Rebuilding Self-Trust Steps

Transcript

0:00

Midlife can feel like someone rearranged your life while you were busy holding it all together. Your body's changing, your sleep is trash, and the roles that defined you, your identities, like mom, partner, caregiver, achiever, start to shift or in some cases, completely fall away. And maybe you're quietly left wondering, like, what exactly happened to me? Is this all there is to life? And that fog makes you question everything. I may be speaking from experience here. Hey there. My name is Cam Allen. Welcome back to the Menopause Method. This episode is not about pushing through. It's actually about coming home to yourself and shifting how you see yourself. I'm pulling back the curtains today. This is how I rewrote my entire midlife. And this is a process I use my with my one on one clients. I'm going to teach you the three steps that I use to rebuild the trust and train your brain that it's okay to change. So let's get to step number one. And it has to do with your identity. I think the most shocking thing about my 40s was the identity changes. So newly divorced, so married wasn't my identity anymore. My kids went to college, so I was empty nest. And at the end of my 40s, I left CrossFit, which was one of my huge identities as well. So I was no longer a teacher. I was no longer a crossfitter. I wasn't a wife. And my role as mom changed. Maybe you can relate to some of those things. And that's when I learned that I am that sentence, that beginning of a sentence means more than I will. When everything around you is changing, your identity can feel really wobbly. Like, what? What. Why am I here? Like, what's my purpose here? And for me, I spent decades being what everyone else needed. By age 48, 49, I knew something had to change. I knew I didn't want to live the rest of my life in this question mark, in this fog. It is completely normal to feel unsure when all these roles change. But what I learned is this is actually when your power starts to return because you get to choose your new identity. And so we're going to practice some I am statements. So when you're working on your I am statements or your why for midlife, like, what do you want in life? Saying I am is the most powerful sentence that you can say about yourself. When you're creating the I am sentences for yourself, try on different wording to make sure it resonates with your soul. That's really important. It needs to feel believable to you. And if it's not here right now, that's completely all right. You can try something like this. I am learning to take care of myself or I am the woman becoming da da da da. Whatever your sentence is. Here are some I am statements to get you started. I am a woman who lifts weights. And when you are that woman, guess what you do? You go lift weights. We know that weights take care of our physical body, like our muscles and our bone help control blood sugar. But what I love about weightlifting is also the emotional and the mental benefits as well. When you feel better in your skin, you move better in the world, and the things you say to yourself also improve. Maybe it's this one. I am a woman who rests without guilt. If you're coming out of your go, go, Go season of running kids all over the place, just remember, go, go go is not sustainable. Maybe you have the mentality that resting makes you lazy. You're going to lose your fitness if you take a day off, blah blah blah. When you realize that rest is actually part of the midlight formula, then you can say, I am a woman who rests without guilt because part of you needs to go part. But there's another part of you that also needs to rest. Maybe you're working on your nutrition. Maybe this is something I am a woman who nourishes her body, not punishes it. Diet culture told us to exercise like crazy and eat nothing. Exercise more, eat less is a formula for disaster when it comes to midlife. Maybe it's something personal. Maybe you're working on boundaries and saying no. So here's an I am statement for that. I am a woman who says no and trusts herself. I'm a huge advocate of trusting and listening to your body. Sure to check out the awesome awful episode. It talks about how to check in with your body and then you'll get the answer will bubble up. Is this a yes for you or is this a no for you? It's really important to realize you don't have to be her yet. You get to try on this new identity and you get to create what your second half of life is going to look like. So try on the I am statement and see how it feels. And this is the cool part. As you begin to say these sentences out loud or in your head and you start to actually believe that this is possible for you and you feel it in your heart because that's important. That's your emotional body. Your brain is going to start to believe them too. And here's the coolest part, what you believe is actually what you become. So that's step one, I am dream up what you want and put it in an I am statement. Step two, make small promises and actually keep them for yourself. See, I believe your self trust isn't lost. It's just been neglected. It's just been pushed down so you could take care of everything else in your life. And I hear this all the time. I can't trust myself to follow through. Or I hear this one, I don't have any motivation anymore. But of course you feel that way. You've been spending all this time taking care of everyone else and it feels selfish, I would say to take care of yourself. You've spent years keeping these promises to everyone but yourself. So step two says start with micro promises like I will take a 10 minute walk today. So if you said I am a woman who takes walks or I am a woman who takes care of her body, this micro promise I will take a 10 minute walk today is doable because you are that person. You identify with that person. If you're into strength training, I will do a menopause mini workout. They're in the bio. They're 10 minute strength workouts that changed my attitude towards working out. Started them back in December. I realized I wasn't being consistent because I didn't have enough time or energy for longer workouts. Doing the menopause minis has completely changed my body composition and quite honestly my attitude towards exercising. Because I am a woman who lifts weights and I will do a 10 minute workout. See how those two things fit together. Here's another one. If you're working on nutrition, I will pause and breathe before raiding the pantry and going getting that snack. Many times, especially in menopause, I find women are eating their emotions. Maybe they're lonely, sad, angry, fill in the blank. And rather than feeling that feeling, it's easier just to go grab a box or a bag that's crunchy or salty. If you're like me and just shove those feelings down rather than actually feel the feelings you see these these micro promises really aren't about discipline. They're about repairing your trust and your relationship with yourself. If you can track them, I think that's great. Many women find tracking them somewhere is very helpful. Celebrate them and let them count. Which leads to step number three. Train your brain to see the wins. Did you know your brain is actually trained to look for what's wrong? And here's something most people don't talk about. It isn't Wired for success. It's actually wired for survival. And when something feels new or unfamiliar, even if it's a good habit, like lifting weights or taking a walk or checking in with yourself before you go grab a box of crackers, your brain flags it as unsafe and that little voice comes in. This won't last. You've tried this before. It didn't work. Or one walk doesn't count. Believe me, that's just an old pattern. That is not the truth. And if your brain made an unhelpful thought, it can also change it to a more helpful thought. I realized that was the missing piece in my coaching. It wasn't having the perfect nutrition plan. It wasn't having the perfect workout plan. It was actually retraining your brain to see things in a different light. So you get to try on a new pattern. In step three, I felt stronger during that walk. And then celebrate that win. Check in with yourself and notice what's changing. Or I moved my body, even though I didn't feel like it, and now I notice I have more energy. See, the amazing thing happens when you do short little micro workouts. It actually gives you more energy for the rest of the day. And you're literally not couch rotting. You're actually moving and enjoying and loving your life. Or maybe this. I choose a nourishing meal, and I am proud of that. Maybe take a picture of your plate. I have a client right now, and her food log is actually just pictures. We're not using chronometer to track. And she uploads a picture of her food daily. She makes the most amazing, beautiful plates of food. And there's no doubt in my mind that beautiful food makes you feel beautiful on the inside. And it's kind of like celebrating the choices that she's making in the kitchen by sharing that picture with me. When you're celebrating your small wins, I want you to say it, maybe write it. Let it land on your soul. This is how you teach your nervous system. Hey, we're safe. It's okay. We can keep going. These are the three steps to come back to yourself. So first, figure out who you want to be and. And write some powerful I am statements. Second, make small promises to yourself and keep them. Keep your word. And then third, celebrate your wins. These are the three steps to come back to yourself. You do not need a complete reinvention. You just need to become that woman who trusts herself again. That one identity shift, that one promise, and that one tiny win at a time. So ask yourself, what's your new I am statement. What's one small promise you can make and keep for yourself today? And what's one win that you can let bubble up and let your soul and your heart feel? I have lots of resources listed below to help you. The Menopause Minis is a great place to start to start building self trust again. 10 minutes of time lifting weights or or I have a tracker to track wins. Grab the non scale win checklist. It'll retrain your brain to see what's already working. Do me a favor, share this with a friend who's ready to see midlife differently. You do not need to do this alone. Thanks for being here. I would love to know how these three steps are changing your life. I'll see you next week.