The Real Reason You Keep Self-Sabotaging Your Health Goals (and how to stop)

Why You Keep Self-Sabotaging Your Health Goals (And How to Finally Stop)

Ever catch yourself thinking, “I know what to do... so why aren’t I doing it?”

You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. And this isn’t about willpower.
This episode of The Menopause Method is your midlife brain’s wake-up call.

🎙 In this episode, Cam Allen reveals:

• Why self-sabotage in midlife is actually self-protection
• How the unconscious mind keeps you stuck in familiar patterns
• The real reason motivation fades (hint: it’s not your fault)
• Simple NLP-based reframes to shift your story and your results
• Why behavior follows identity—and how to change both gently
• How to finally get consistent without more pressure or perfection

Whether you’re navigating perimenopause, postmenopause, or just feel like your spark has turned into a flicker—this one’s for you.

✨Plus: Take the FREE Midlife Strength Blocker Quiz to find your best next step
👉 https://www.camoyler.com/QUIZ

🧠 This episode is packed with mindset shifts, nervous system wisdom, and language upgrades that actually work for midlife women.

🔔 Subscribe for weekly mindset tips, midlife motivation, and strength training strategies for thriving through menopause.

🎧 Listen to the full Menopause Method podcast on Spotify + Apple.
📲 Hang out with Cam on IG: @heymomma_cam

🎯 Want to go deeper?
💡 When you understand what’s really stopping you, everything changes.Take the quiz to discover your midlife strength blocker—and what to do instead:
👉 https://www.camoyler.com/QUIZ

💪 Download your 10-minute strength workout:
👉 https://www.camoyler.com/minis

🛋️ Free Home Gym Guide:
👉 https://www.camoyler.com/gym-equipment-guide

🌙 Free Menopause Sleep Guide:
👉 https://www.camoyler.com/pl/2148586038

We'll cover:

1. Why ‘sabotage’ is actually your brain’s outdated safety system.That block you keep running into? It’s not laziness — it’s biology. Your brain is efficient, always choosing familiar (even uncomfortable familiar) over the unknown.
2. Why your old willpower tricks don’t work anymore. Shaming yourself or trying to “just do it” doesn’t calm your nervous system — and that’s exactly what you need as you move through and beyond menopause.
3. How to reframe your inner dialogue to become your own cheerleader. Instead of “I always quit,” try “I haven’t found a rhythm that supports me yet.” The words you use with yourself aren’t just fluff — they’re instructions to your body and mind, especially in midlife.
   
   

Key Takeaways:

• Self-sabotage is often actually self-protection, not a personal flaw. 
• Your brain prioritizes safety and the familiar over your goals, especially in midlife. 
• Willpower and shame-based motivation don't work for long-term health changes after menopause. 
• Reframing your thoughts and language can help shift your habits and outcomes. 
• Hormonal changes in menopause affect stress and stored hormones, making past strategies less effective. 
• Small, compassionate steps lead to real change—start with micro moves, not grand gestures. 
• Your identity creates momentum; embracing new self-talk can anchor lasting behavior shifts.

Chapters:
00:00 Rethink Motivation for Post-Menopause
04:13 Rewire Thoughts Through Reframing
07:26 Rediscover Leadership: Embrace Change

Transcript

0:00

Ever feel like I should be doing this by now? You know what to do. Eat better, move your body, drink water, yet you're still not doing it. It's quite frustrating, and it starts to feel personal. It has this energy like, what is wrong with me? But what if it's really not sabotage? What if it's actually protection? Hey there. I'm Cam Allen. Welcome back to the Menopause Method. We are continuing the NLP series neurolinguistic programming. And today's episode is about the real reason you keep self sabotaging your health goals, and it has to do with your brain and how we talk to each other. And I just wanna call out the truth and normalize your experience. You are not lazy. You are not weak, and you are certainly not broken. Midlife is allowed. I like to reframe it as the midlife awakening, but let's be honest. We've had changes in careers. Maybe you have young kids at home or teenagers at home and elderly parents, so you're in the sandwich generation. Not to mention the hormone shifts. When you reach postmenopause and your estrogen reaches its lowest level, you lose the protection of stress. Cortisol and insulin are both stored hormones, and both of those hormones play a bigger role once you reach postmenopause. And if there's stored hormones, then you know that your body is also experiencing changes. So let's be honest. There's a lot going on at midlife, and, also, we have this opportunity to look at our life and what's happening and totally shift it. That's what this podcast is about. I wanna say that most motivational advice wasn't designed for your nervous system. You can't use willpower and shame to actually reach your goals. That doesn't stick. And if you've ever heard the phrases, never miss a Monday or just do it, that does not keep your nervous system calm. And on this side of menopause, you need to keep your nervous system calm in order to reach your goals long term. I know you've done the programs before, but this version of you is a different version of you, and this version of you requires something different. So, again, let's stop the willpower. Think that it's only willpower and motivation, and shame does not work. You see, the real block is your brain is efficient. It likes to run things from a to b, and it runs these old patterns that you used to use to help you cope. They are safety mechanisms. Your brain is running a safety mechanism. It is not a flaw. Your unconscious mind really doesn't care about your goals. It cares about your safety and being efficient. So part of you wants to change, and part of you fears that change might actually have a cost. So here's an example I see all the time. If I lose weight, I'll have to be visible again. Believe it or not, many women hold on to weight as literally a protection, a barrier to their world. The weight is actually a barrier to protect them. Yet their mouth says, I wanna lose weight. Yet their body says, nope. I'm holding on to this because I need it to protect myself. Wow. Here's another one that I see. If I succeed, I'll have to maintain it, and I don't I don't trust that I can keep the weight off. So self sabotage usually starts where self protection was never updated, that old wiring in your brain, because your brain is always gonna choose familiar over the unknown. Your brain is not trying to ruin your goals. I promise you that. It's just trying to keep you from danger. So here's the thing. If your brain thought up the unhelpful thought, can your brain also create a more helpful thought? The answer is yes. And that is why I love NLP. Because to the unconscious mind, change is danger. So we have to get to the root of it and rewire the thoughts. In fact, that's the next section I wanna talk about is reframing. Reframing is taking the same story and giving it new meaning. So if you have the story and it has unhelpful thoughts, and those unhelpful thoughts are actually a blueprint for your body, we can change the same event. We can change our thoughts around it and actually get an outcome. We can change what our brain thinks about something, and that way we will change our physical outcome. So instead of calling it sabotage, let's call it a signal. So when you notice the patterns showing up in your life, I you're saying that you wanna lose weight or you say you wanna work out, yet you don't, or you say you're going to eat whole ingredients, but you find yourself eating beer, pizza, and chips on the couch, what is really going on there? NLP teaches us that your brain takes language literally. If you say to yourself, I always quit, that is becomes the script in your mind that replays over and over and over. So by reframing it, we can soften that language, and we can shift the story. And when we shift the story, the words we say out of our mouth and the words we say in our brain actually creates our physical reality. So instead of saying, I always quit, why don't you try, I haven't found a rhythm that supports me yet? That's much more open and leaves lots of possibility. Or maybe you could say, I'm someone who starts again and again, and that's actually a strength. So instead of sitting in the of quitting, reframe it and give yourself something to work with. I invite you to give yourself compassion to the part that's scared, the part that's holding you back because resistance is really a cue. It's not a command. And I invite you to notice next time you tend to quit. What else is happening in your life right now? And as you begin to speak to yourself differently, your body is going to respond differently, and that is the most amazing part. So your identity actually creates momentum, and your behavior is going to follow that identity. You will not keep any habits that you don't feel safe embodying. No way. If you don't feel safe, you're not keeping it. So if you're saying to yourself, I'm not consistent, guess what you're experiencing? Inconsistency. Instead, try this one on. I'm becoming a woman who shows up in small ways. And then anchor in that identity whenever you say I am, that is a very powerful phase. So instead, now you can anchor in that identity and say, I am someone who listens to her body. You do not have to wait for motivation. You can start with a micro move that totally rewrites the whole script. Here's an example. You can lay out your weights the night before. You can go on a walk for five minutes and say out loud to yourself and mean it, this matters. So you can say I'm not failing. I'm learning how to lead myself differently. You can say to yourself, every rep is a vote for the woman I am becoming every time you show up for yourself. What if your next win is on the other side of grace and not grit? At this point, I hope you know that you do not need more pressure. You need to understand why these old tools aren't working for you anymore, and so I've created a quiz. It helps you identify your midlife strength blocker, and it shows you the next step that actually fits your life. So take the quiz. Let it reflect something back to you, something that your body already knows. Because the woman you're becoming doesn't need to be pushed. She just needs the right invitation. Taking the quiz might be the permission slip you didn't know you were waiting for. If you're on Instagram, come by and say hi @heymomma_cam. I love hearing from you. If the menopause method is helping you in any way, make sure you leave a comment, like, and subscribe, and share it with your best friends. That is the best way to get the message out. This channel is all about rewriting midlife one story at a time. We'll be back next week with another episode.