Change Your Story, Change Your Results: Midlife Motivation Secrets

Feel like you’re stuck in midlife no matter how hard you try?
It’s not a motivation problem — it’s the story you’re telling yourself.

In this episode of The Menopause Method, Cam Allen breaks down how your unconscious mind is following old scripts—and how to finally rewrite the story to create new energy, motivation, and results in midlife.

You’ll learn:
• Why self-sabotage really happens (hint: it’s not your fault)
• How your unconscious mind takes your words as literal instructions
• How to shift your inner story without toxic positivity
• The tiny language upgrades that can change everything

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Key Takeaways:

• Your unconscious mind runs 95% of your thoughts and actions—old stories might be driving your habits.
• The words you use matter; your brain believes what you tell it, so self-talk shapes your results.
• Motivation isn’t the problem—your underlying stories are. Change your story, and your actions follow.
• The unconscious mind responds best to clear, positive, and specific directions (not shame or vague goals).
• Self-sabotage is often just your brain trying to protect you based on outdated beliefs.
• Reframing negative thoughts into gentle, believable upgrades creates real changes over time.
• Awaken your midlife potential by becoming aware of old patterns, questioning them, and writing a new story for your next chapter.
  
  

Chapters: 
00:00 Emotions Drive the Unconscious
04:58 NLP as Health Coaching Tool
08:20 Questioning Beliefs for Self-Growth
11:05 Emotions: Key to Positive Rewiring
13:33 Overcoming Challenges with Mindset

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Transcript

0:00

If your brain works like a GPS system, what exact directions are you giving yourself daily? And is it leading to the destination you want? Hey there. I'm Cam Allen. Welcome back to the Menopause Method. We're gonna talk today more about the unconscious mind and how it leads towards or not towards the goals that you say out of your mouth. You see, your unconscious mind is secretly running the show because your words are the blueprint then your body follows whatever you're saying to yourself. Before we dive into this episode, and you'll walk away with exact steps to how to rewrite your stories and actually get the thing that you say you want by rewriting the stories in your mind. There are some basic facts about the unconscious mind that we need to talk about. So you go into this episode with eyes wide open so you understand what's going on in your brain. Fact number one, your unconscious mind runs almost everything. In fact, it controls, like, 95% or more of your daily thoughts, actions, and behavior. Meaning, we are running on autopilot based on old beliefs and patterns. Think about that. 95 of our actions are controlled by our unconscious mind. That's amazing. Fact number two. The unconscious mind takes everything personally and literally. It doesn't analyze or question what you tell it. It simply says, if you say, I'm too old for this, it says, got it. You're too old. It acts like the world's most loyal assistant even if the directions aren't actually helping you. Fact number three, your unconscious mind loves repetition. Whatever you repeat, whether it be good or bad, it becomes the operating system for your unconscious mind. That's why changing your self talk even just a little creates real shifts over time. Fact number four, it is emotionally driven. It is not logic driven. The unconscious mind really responds to your emotions and your feelings way faster than logic. And if you are like me and stopped your emotions for many years, that's really hard to get in touch with them. But I'm telling you, when you get in touch with your emotions, then you'll have more control over your unconscious mind. If you've ever been overwhelmed or frustrated, it's hard to, quote, unquote, think your way into feeling better because your feelings are driving the bus. Fact number five, your unconscious mind is always trying to protect you. Even when you have habits that you don't love, like self sabotaging your goals, your unconscious mind thinks it's keeping you safe based on the old wiring and the old stories. So, for example, if you're skipping your workouts because your unconscious mind associates them with past shame or past failure, that might be running the show. So your mouth says, I'm going to work out, but your brain sabotages it and associates it with an old story based in shame or failure or whatever the story is. Fact number six, Your unconscious mind stores your memories and creates patterns for them, especially emotional memories from your childhood age zero to seven. In fact, many of our automatic reactions today are based on those early definitions of things like love, success, safety, and health. Those ideas were form zero to seven. Yet here we are in midlife using these old stories and this old GPS that's not leading us to where we really wanna go. And fact number seven, your unconscious mind works best with clear, kind directions. Vague goals are very confusing. Like, I wanna be better. Like, what do you mean you wanna be better? What is exactly does that mean? Being specific with your goals is very helpful to your unconscious mind. And also this, harsh self talk scares your unconscious mind. If you're saying you're lazy or pathetic and using shame to motivate yourself, that does not work either. Your unconscious mind responds to clear positive supportive language, and it guides it much, much better. So here's some examples. I'm learning to trust my body again in midlife. That's a big one. We have a lot of hormonal changes happening. We have life changes happening like empty nest or caring for old aging parents. So learning to trust yourself is a big, big, big deal. What about this one? I move my body because it feels good. That is way different than shaming yourself into a pair of jeans that were from your thirties. You know what I mean? So motivation really isn't the issue. Motivation is just the byproduct of the story that you're telling yourself. Because here's the thing, you're not flawed. You're just using an old map that doesn't take you where you wanna go today. That is why I love NLP, neurolinguistic programming, as a sidekick to health coaching. People pay me money to coach with them one on one, and sometimes paying for coaching is enough to motivate someone to actually make changes. But many times what I find is they say with their mouth, I'm going to eat mostly whole real foods, and then they find themselves not doing that. Why does that happen? They say one thing, but then their actions are the opposite of what they say with their mouth. That is why NLP is the perfect tool, sidekick, if you will, to health and fitness coaching. So you can actually reach your goals and understand that your unconscious mind is running an old program, an old map, if you will, and the old stories are keeping you stuck and away from the goals that you say coming out of your mouth. So the prime directives of the unconscious mind are basically instructions. There's no judgment or questioning from your unconscious mind. Your unconscious mind literally believes whatever you tell it and repeat. It doesn't argue with those things. It just builds your reality based on the words that you tell it. So you can see how powerful that is when you realize what are your old limiting, I'm gonna call them decisions rather than beliefs. What are what is running the show? And are you willing and able and open to change that into something more positive? See, I was talking about this this weekend. We were away on the weekend. Your brain literally came up with the negative thing that's keeping you stuck. So why couldn't your brain come up with something positive that would actually help you reach the goal that you're working for? So let me give you some specific examples. Midlife stories that keep self sabotage in your life. Like, it's too late for me, or I always mess this up. I'm not meant to be successful or skinny or strong. And then what about this one? Why even bother? Bother. Of course, you feel stuck when you're following a story that says you can't change. So here are step by step directions on how to shift the story. First of all, you gotta spot it. You have to catch the old story in action. It could be a sentence like, I always mess things up or something that you say out loud even without noticing it. Here's one thing to listen for. When you say part of me wants this and part of me wants that, that is a big clue. I catch myself saying that often. Awareness is the first step. And I'm not talking about judging yourself. You have to be aware of what your unconscious mind is actually doing and thinking. It's kind of like catching a pop up ad in your brain, if you will. So step one is awareness. Catch yourself. What are those old beliefs that are bubbling up? See, the other thing about the unconscious mind, it would never bubble it up if you're not ready to shift it. In fact, if it's coming up for you, that is the absolute best time to rewrite the story and actually get the results that you're working towards. So number one is awareness. Step two is question it. So this thought bubbles up and you spot it. The next thing you need to do is pause and gently question it. So ask yourself, this is these are my two favorites. Is this even true? Like, many times we pick up beliefs and carry them with us through life, and it's something that someone said to you or you heard as a little kid, and you decided it was true, and you decided to wear it, and you decided to use it as a filter for the rest of your life. You can change that. That's the cool thing with NLP. So my second favorite question is, what do I want instead? So if you find yourself saying that something negative about yourself, you can ask, what do I want instead? That is a very powerful question. Here's some others that might be helpful. Is this how I wanna talk to myself? Like, literally, would you say that to your best friend, yet here you are saying it to yourself? Maybe this question will help you. Is this creating the version of me I want to become? Very powerful questions. When you ask yourself these questions, you are interrupting the autopilot 95% of our brain that's running the show when you ask yourself better questions. So when you ask yourself these questions, be sure to pause and let the answers bubble up. In fact, the first answer that bubbles up is your unconscious mind. Don't overthink it because then we're going on to the conscious 5% of our brain. We wanna tap into the 95% autopilot side. So here we are. We are aware of it, and now we're questioning what in the world is this even true, and what do I want instead? Step three is to reframe it. The idea of reframing it is, like, when you reframe a picture, maybe you have an old matte, an old frame, and you decide that you want a new matte and a new frame. You're changing something, but the picture is the same. That is what reframing is. So it is a soft, believable upgrade, something that feels true and possible right now. So for example, I'm failing at midlife. That is not very positive. So here's a fake positive, and don't do this. Everything is amazing. Come on. If you're feeling like I'm feeling it midlife, repeating the affirmation, everything is amazing, maybe in the mirror or whatever, That is not your brain's not gonna believe that. Your brain's gonna know that you're talking nonsense, and you're not gonna actually shift that belief. So instead, try a soft reframe. Do this instead. I'm learning how to take better care of myself now I'm practicing. That is a way different feeling than everything is amazing right now when you know it's not. You don't feel your best. You know you're working towards something. The language needs to feel really neutral and hopeful and possible because we're not trying to lie to ourselves. That's not what we're doing. And the other key to this, because our unconscious mind loves emotions, is to feel the emotions around it. Feel the emotions and the possibility and sit in that. I can feel it rising right now inside of me. Your emotions, your positive emotions are the key to getting your unconscious mind rewired and on track. So here's some reframe examples to give you some specific examples. I'm learning to be consistent now. That gives you a lot of permission to make mistakes. Because let me tell you something, life's gonna life, and there are gonna be mistakes. But learning how to be consistent now is it's practice. It's possible. It's positive. It is a soft reframe for everything sucks in midlife. Right? Very different. Here's one. Midlife is my time to rebuild. Think about the possibility of rebuilding your life. I truly believe that midlife is part of the midlife awakening, and it's a return to yourself. Yes. You have emptiness. Yes. Your body might be physically changing or definitely our hormones are are changing. Yes, you may be caring for aging parents. But here's the beautiful part of this. You get to decide what that looks like. You get decide what your boundaries are and how you wanna show up in the world. I think that's powerful. You get to update these instructions in your unconscious mind anytime you want. And believe me, you can create a small shift in your story, which will create a huge ripple over time. You start showing up differently. So imagine waking up and, you know, saying to yourself, I figure things out instead of I always mess it up. Like, totally different feelings behind that. The new version of you, the the version that wants the goals that you say out loud are waiting. You just have to give her a new script. And this is how midlife becomes your becoming and your midlife awakening versus your breakdown. Be sure to DM me on Instagram @heymomma_cam. I love hearing your stories. Well, what old story are you ready to reframe in midlife? I mean, I have so many. I didn't even tell you about my divorce story in my forties, but that's one for sure. Because believe me, I had a big pity party for a minute, for more than a minute. And that's when CrossFit Cam was doing her thing. And then at some point, the gig was up, and I was like, this is not how I wanna live. And I worked on reprogramming my unconscious mind, and now here I am with even more tools to help you. So if you're finding this series helpful or any of the menopause method episodes helpful, be sure to hit subscribe. Next week, we're gonna talk about self discipline myths. Thanks for being here, and I'll see you next week.