Why You Keep Avoiding What’s Good for You in Menopause (and How to Stop)

Ever wonder why you keep putting off that workout, that meal prep, or even that much-needed downtime? 

It’s not just you—your brain is wired to keep you safe and comfortable, which sometimes means dodging the very things that would help you thrive. 

In this episode, I’m diving into the sneaky ways we avoid the things that would actually make us feel better—especially in menopause. 

We’ll unpack the science behind procrastination (spoiler: it’s not just about willpower) and how self-awareness is the key to breaking the cycle. 

Plus, I’m sharing simple, doable strategies to shift your mindset, change the way you talk to yourself, and start celebrating those small wins—because progress is progress, no matter how tiny. 

Let’s move past avoidance and start showing up for ourselves in a whole new way!

You'll hear:

• Understanding the brain's avoidance strategies: Why your brain isn't always your biggest cheerleader and how it tries to keep you comfy - not always helpful, right?
• Key steps to disrupt avoidance: From identifying triggers to changing self-talk, it's time to put the control back in your hands. Believe it or not, you get to change that narrative!
• The magic of small wins: Why Celebrating ten-minute mini victories can pave the way to big changes in your energy, strength, and overall joy. It's those tiny steps that lead to progress.

Get the Menopause Minis: 10-minute Strength Workouts:

https://www.camoyler.com/meno-minis

Key takeaways:

• We often avoid things we know are good for us.
• Understanding the science behind our thoughts can help us change our behavior.
• Our brains are wired to keep us safe, often leading to avoidance of discomfort.
• 80% of our daily thoughts are negative, impacting our decisions.
• 90% of our decisions are made subconsciously, which can lead to automatic avoidance.
• Identifying triggers for avoidance is crucial for change.
• Self-awareness is the first step in overcoming avoidance strategies.
• Changing self-talk from 'I have to' to 'I get to' empowers us.
• Celebrating small wins can motivate us to continue making positive changes.
• Menopause can be a time for personal awakening and self-discovery.

Timestamps:
00:00 Unraveling Procrastination and Avoidance

04:10 Mindfully Confront Avoidance Patterns

09:41 Overcoming Procrastination with Small Wins

10:26 Overcoming Mental Blocks

Transcript

0:00

Have you ever wondered why you put things off even though it's something that you really want and you know it's good for you? Maybe you have the most amazing fitness routine, the best nutrition plan, and the most supportive family ever, and we still avoid doing the thing that we say we wanna do that will actually help us reach our goals. Hey there. I'm Cam. Welcome back to the Menopause Method. Today we're gonna talk about our avoidance strategy. What is the thing? What is happening for us to go into avoidance? We know we want it, we say we want it, but yet we don't. Anyway, we're gonna dive into the science of our brains and we're gonna look for clues so we can actually change our avoidance strategy. And that's my goal for you, just to bring more awareness to what's actually happening behind the scenes. And if you can figure this out, many times it'll unravel other parts of your avoidance strategy in other categories, and it's like this amazing thing that happens. So let's get to this. So what is the science behind procrastination and avoidance? First of all, our brains are wired to keep us safe and comfortable and also reproducing, but we're in menopause, so that doesn't really matter as much anymore. Oftentimes, we avoid things that make us uncomfortable. But here's the thing, if you're working on creating a new habit, a new fitness habit or a nutrition habit, something that's gonna be uncomfortable. Have you ever heard the quote, magic happens out of the comfort zone? And here we have our brain say no, no, no, that's uncomfortable. I need to keep you safe. And so the strategy is running behind the scenes to and you're gonna actually avoid the thing that you want to accomplish. That's what happened. That's what's happening behind the scenes. We have anywhere from 60 to 70,000 thoughts a day. That's a lot. No wonder we're tired. And 80% of those thoughts are considered to be negative and on repeat. That's a lot. I'm not really sure who does all the counting, but that's a lot of thoughts, and that's a lot of negative thoughts. So your brain is not always your biggest cheerleader. That's the bottom line. And we also know that 90% of our decisions are based in the subconscious mind, and only 10% of our decisions are made with our conscious mind. So that means most of what we do is automatic, and it's based on past habits and past patterns and past filters of things that happened to us in the past. So when we procrastinate, our brain is running some kind of avoidance strategy to keep us out of the discomfort, Even though the discomfort is something that will help us grow as a human and have more joy and health in our life. So the trick is figuring out what that cycle is and how to break it for you. Now I know this is like self worth kind of topic. It's not like eat this, do that. No. No. No. No. This is about doing the inner work. And what happens when you do the inner work, other things start to fall into place in your life. When you understand yourself better and you see how you react to certain situations, that's where the magic gets. And actually, I do believe that menopause is our great awakening. It's like the midlife awakening and this is part of it. To know and love and appreciate yourself as is, to understand what your triggers are so you can move forward. So, yes, I know this isn't like a fancy protocol. Nope. This is the inner work that unravels and lets you live your best life. So let's start here. How do you identify your avoidance strategy? So I want you to ask yourself the next time you avoid something, what happened right before I avoided exercising or eating protein? What happened right before? We talked about this last week, we have four bodies, we have mental body, emotional body, energetic body, and physical body. All of these dance together, and we need them on the same page, if you will, in order to actually get the thing that we're working for. So right before you avoid something, think about your mental thoughts. Did you say I don't have time, or I'll do it later, or a piece of protein doesn't sound good right now. What was the thing that you said in your mind? Now, it could be your words. But it also could be something you heard in the past. Maybe you heard something as a little kid, and you decided to pick it up and carry it around with you all through life. The cool thing is at this stage in life, when you get to know and love yourself as is, you can choose to put down that thought and you don't have to carry it around with you anymore. So think about your thoughts. What did you hear right before you avoided the thing? Next up, what did you feel? So that's your emotions? Was it fear? Like were you fearful or anxious about something? Maybe you were were worried about being being perfect. A lot of times women avoid doing something. If it's not perfect, it doesn't count. You know, and that could also go into your mental, like, what did I say to myself? But the feelings are like self doubt, anxious, any of those emotions. So next time you avoid, what did you feel? That'll give you some clues. And then physically, how did your body feel? Did you feel tired? Have you ever been somewhere with a group of people and you just wanted to get away from them and go home and take a nap? Your body is having a physical reaction or whatever was going on in that circle. Also on the opposite, have you ever been somewhere in your body, like, responded in a positive way? You're like, these people are amazing. They have great energy. I wanna hang out with them more. Your physical body is always communicating to yourself. So pay attention to how your body responds. As a little girl, I would often get stomachaches. Actually, I remember this all the way through college. If something was not right in my world, I would get a stomachache. It was literally a gut feeling. Or I have a lump in my throat right now. I must need to say something to you. So paying attention to your physical body, how it responds will give you some clues on your avoidance strategy. And then energetically, like, what's your environment like? Who are the people around you? In fact, when you work with me one on one, one of the questions on the intake form is, who's in your circle? Who lives in your house? Are they supportive of your goals? Because that's important. You know, and you're the same that you're the sum of the seven people around you. That's true. Like, you hang around with six smokers, you're gonna be the seventh smoker. You've probably heard that. I also heard last week, this is fascinating, that we also share our bino, our the bacteria in our bodies with the people that are around us. That's interesting. I mean, I have dogs, so I knew that, like, I'm aware of their yuckiness. And I also probably have my that in my body because they're always around me. Okay. Anyway, back to this. So you can start noticing your mental, emotional, physical, and your spiritual are energetic. What's going on? So you can see what's happening when you avoid something. So that is the first step, and actually that is the first step. It is called awareness. Recognizing the triggers that starts your avoidance strategy. So that's the first thing. Those are places to look. Second, I want you to disrupt the pattern. So you can change the cue, like maybe you can put on your workout clothes, or put on your sports bra, because that's a sporting event in itself. Or if you wear shoes to work out, which I do not, you can put your shoes on. Whatever that thing is, go ahead and disrupt the pattern. Whatever you noticed about yourself, do something different. And then next, step three is to celebrate those small wins. I have a brand new program. It's called the menopause minis. They're ten minute strength workouts, and they would be perfect to take action when you have resistance over time. I don't have time. I don't have energy. And actually, the workouts were birthed from that very idea. Like, what if I could create something that wasn't time intensive? It was like, just hit play and just go do the thing. It's ten minutes. You've got ten minutes. And then I asked the women afterwards how's their energy afterwards. So I'll put a link in there if you're interested in the menopause meds. And literally ten minutes, ten minutes, six days a week, ten minutes, a few days a week, you're gonna have more energy, more strength, and you're on the way to creating the small habits and showing your body and your brain that it's safe to change. Step four, changing your self talk. What do you tell yourself when you avoid something? This is a good one. Instead of I have to I need to I should all those, you know, shoulding all over yourselves. Change it to I get to. I get to exercise and move my body today, I get to eat food that's going to nourish my physical body and my emotional body, I get to puts the control back on you. So here's the bottom line. Next time you notice yourself avoiding something, pause and ask, what just happened? What was I thinking? What was I feeling? But here's an example. Let's say you plan to work out, you're gonna do a menopause mini, and then all of a sudden you're like, nope. I don't feel like it. What happened right before you said, no. I'm not gonna do that. Was it a thought? Did you see something? Maybe you saw something on social media. Maybe heard something? What was the cue that started your avoidance strategy? And I encourage you just to test one little thing a week. When I'm health coaching with someone, we only do small intentions. Small little I call them down movers. Small little intentions, small little wins, so we can actually prove to our brain that we can be successful. I just need you to know that procrastination and avoidance isn't the lack of willpower. It's your brain running something on automatic loop. And that is the purpose of today's show, is to, like, literally take a look at what I'm what's happening so you can actually stop it. It is not because you don't have willpower. It's not because you don't wanna reach your goals. It's your brain trying to protect you and keep you safe. If you found this episode helpful at all, send me a message on Instagram. I love hearing from you. And if you could, please subscribe and share this with your friends. That is the best way to get the word out. You can find this podcast on all major platforms plus I'm doing YouTube. And next week, we're actually gonna address how to build your ideal home gym. This actually came from, a message from somebody that said, I got this small space. I wanna build a home gym. What should I do? Be sure to tune in next week, and I'll share all the details on how to build your ideal gym in the space that you have. Thanks for being here. I'll see you next week.